Fair time came around again- and once again I spent way too much time out there. Most of my time was spent walking around with my camera, looking like a dork. But somehow, looking like a dork really suits me.

Maybe you made it out to the fair, maybe you didn't. Either way- take a look at the pictures below to see what happened. Do yourself a favor, hit 'F11' on your keyboard to make the page take the full screen.

This little piggy went to market (and sold for $4.85/pound)

Imagine Jethro's surprise when he woke up after a hard night drinking and saw this.
Not only did she have an extra nipple, she had ten extra nipples.

Dairy Cow Info The average U.S. dairy cow produces 22.5 quarts of milk each day. That’s about 16,000 glasses of milk per year - enough for about 40 people. Milk and other dairy products supply 70% of the calcium in the U.S. food supply. Straight from the cow, the temperature of cow’s milk is about 97 degrees Fahrenheit. Dairy cows produce the most milk of any mammal in the world. Wisconsin and California lead the United States in milk production. A typical dairy cow produces 40 pounds of milk per day. A dairy cow drinks 20-50 gallons of water a day - about as much as a full bathtub.

At the rodeo, the calves get one little taste of freedom,
before they get thrown to the ground and tied up.

Sometimes the animals win... this one was screaming 'Pamplona! Pamplona!'

Watching the rodeo

Frustrated that none of the rides could accommodate their over-grown boy,
Josh's parents finally strapped him to the Ferris wheel.

You can't have carnival rides without carnies.
And carnies need love too.

Roll your mouse over the carny...move your mouse fast, and make him dance!

Somewhere out there is the Carny who posed for this...

And his mother is proud.

This is Leeann and her family. She was sitting there eating some french fries covered in bleu cheese. Big chunks of just plain blue cheese. It didn't look too good to tell you the truth. Leeann said, "You gotta be a bleu cheese person to like it..."

How 'bout them apples...	Corn is a good source of fiber.

Corn dogs are the king of the fair food. Of the 32 people I surveyed,
26 of them mentioned corn dogs as one of their favorite fair foods.

These boys were working at Hawaiian Shave Ice booth.
The older boy is Lawrence, he's 13 and goes to Lee Middle School.
His little brother is Christian, and he goes to Whitehead Elementary.

This girl pretty much ran up the wall. She got to the top, rang the buzzer, and jumped down. She was the fastest climber I saw.	On the other hand... This lady attempted to climb the wall 9 or 10 times. Once she got up about 10 feet off the ground, and fell. But most of the time she only got about 2 feet up before she let go. She was laughing the whole time.

This is Madison. She was in one of those kids dance groups.
Someday she'll be a star.

The idea here is to pay a few dollars, then use a squirt gun to fill a balloon until it pops. You can win a
stuffed animal. But why would you want to carry a stuffed animal around for the rest of the night?
What is the reason?

Oh yeah...that's the reason...

This is...(Him: "who will see this? I don't want to use my name...") John.
(Me: C'mon man...that's pretty plain, choose a different fake name.) Thomas.
"John Thomas? Couldn't you do better?"

His favorite fair food is hot dogs.
I asked him why he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt in 97 degree heat.
"I'm from San Francisco."

Yeah Harriet, it's me- Myrtle. Listen, this place is crawling with hot guys. You gotta get down here quick. Oh, and bring my lipstick.

This is Kanika. I found her on a bench, with her head between her knees looking miserable.
"Why do you look so miserable?"
"I've got a headache from the rides."
"Which rides did you go on?"
"The Sizzler...then the Tornado..."
"How old are you?"
"Twenty one"
"Well, your days for rides are over...and it only gets worse.....What's your favorite food at the fair?"
"Oh god, I don't even want to think about food.......but I like the corn, and the corn dogs, and the polish sandwiches...."

They were watching the little kids, on the little kids rides.

This guy was selling perfumes, incense, that sort of thing.
Surprisingly....he is from Oklahoma.

If you are going to have a mullet, follow this guys advice - Be The Mullet.

This is Kristy - from CollegeWorks painting- she was in a vendor booth during the entire fair.

This is Arcidio, he is 82 years old. He came to Woodland back in 1943 as part
of the Bracero program. That was a program where the US government
made a deal with Mexico, where we would import farm laborers, since
a lot of Americans were fighting in World War II.

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I asked Zack what he thought about the 'Smoke Free Event":

"It's great to provide a smoke free environment, but they should have some smoking zones inside the fair. That way seniors, and other people who can't move around easily don't have to go as far to smoke."
(Not to mention people with emphysema, who can't walk very far...)

I tried to tell him that smoking will shrink his testicles, but he didn't want to hear it...

	Up my what?

Some people think they are too good for the demolition derby. In fact, a LOT of people think they are too good for the demolition derby. Then again, some people (the same people) like to get coffee colonics.

So there are two types of people in this world: Those who can appreciate the demolition derby, and those who like to get coffee shot up their butt. Yep- it's as simple as that.

Number 68 obviously had a few too many chili-cheese fries...

See, the Derby isn't just a bunch of Hee-Haw rednecks. They bring their girlfriends too...

The thrills, the chills...you gotta check out the derby.

It took me a while to figure out where to throw in this gratuitous shot of legs. I mean, in which category would it be the least 'suggestive'?

Animals? Rides? Entertainment? Food?

Well, I figured that 'Demolition Derby' was the safest place. Wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

In addition to the 'big' cars, they also have a compact car class. The big cars were great, but the little cars were more fun to watch. They loaded the track with about 20 cars, and just let them rip. The little cars fall apart a lot easier than the big cars, and they die quicker, so there was actually a lot more 'destruction' in this part of the derby.

There it was....Yolo County Fair 2005: Americana, deep-fried on a stick.

You know, there is a limit to the number of dumb captions I can come up with. So I thought that maybe you could help me out. There are 3 pictures below. Under each is a box where you can add your own captions. Put something in any, or all of the boxes to make your suggestions.

The good ones will be added to the story-