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I went around to 6 different places in Woodland to try their burgers. I wanted to find out who had the best hamburgers in Woodland.I was going to just get a regular cheeseburger at each place, but I realized that would be very boring. I ended up getting 3 regular burgers, and 3 'specialty' burgers. Read the reviews, and then tell us about your favorite burger in the comments section.
The first stop on my Woodland-Wide search for the best cheeseburger was Brown's Corner - the bar/grill place located at the corner of Main and County Road 98, across from Raleys. I've been curious about this place for years, but never ventured in. On most weekends their parking lot is full of motorcycles, which means that the food must be good - because bikers know about food...right?
They also had music playing; while I was there it ranged from Shaggy, to Kenny Chesney, to generic '90s angst rock (Stone Temple Pilots maybe.) They also have a dance floor, but nobody was dancing during lunchtime on a Monday.
All 3 of us reviewers ordered cheeseburgers, one with bacon. Two of us ordered garlic fries, the other ordered plain fries. The burger was 1/2 pound. It came on a large bun, with lettuce, red onion, cheese, pickles and thousand island dressing. The burger itself was pretty darned good, it had a nice flavor, and consistency. This burger was exactly what I was looking for. Oh, how I wish the Brown's Corner story would end right there. But unfortunately, it didn't. Along with the burger, came fries. The garlic fries were heavily advertised (painted on their window) so I thought they might be good. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. These fries turned what would have been a great burger lunch, into something I was regretting many hours afterward. The garlic on the fries was extremely bitter to begin with. Throughout the night, as the bile rose up into my throat, I was reminded of that taste. So really, I don't recommend the garlic fries at all. The one person who got 'regular' fries enjoyed hers, and told us we were stupid for getting garlic fries. She was right about this one. The burgers were pretty good for a biker bar in Woodland.
Reviewer Quotes: "I think this might be the best burger I've ever had" "The back room smells a little like a porta-potty" In my Easterly march down Main Street, the next place I came to was Judy's Grinders. I have been to Judy's many times and I've always been okay with the food there, even if it is a little on the greasy side. They have a wide assortment of items available, and they heavily advertise their fish and chips. They also have pot-stickers, pastrami burgers, and they used to have ice-cream. This time I noticed that the ice cream was gone, and they were using the old freezer to store drinks.
The ambiance of the restaurant is what I would call 'circa 2000' They've got all kinds of 'decorations' out in the dining area, including a statue of a shoe (being held together with scotch tape). They've gone heavy into the plastic plant scene, and even have a bubbly water fountain, with pennies and nickels at the bottom (revenue stream?). They used to have TWO video games, but now they only have one (Metal Slug/Street Fighter combo I think- circa 1998/99). On the wall are a fair number of certificates, plaques, and news articles ("Judy's Grinders - 'best burgers in Yolo County'") but all of them are from the 1999-2001 time frame. Basically, it seems that Judy's Grinders had it's hey-day 5 years ago. My co-reviewer said "I like Judy's, except for the fact that it is kind of depressing." I would have to agree. And so would the other potential customers who seemed to have stayed home to watch 'Fear Factor', because the place was dead while we were there. Okay- enough about the restaurant - what about the food?
The french fries...well, they came EXACTLY the way I like them. Personally, I like my fries a little crispy, even 'overcooked' and that is what we had here. Those golden brown sticks of artery-clogging Idaho potatoes were done just perfectly. But they were over-cooked in a very short time...and we were the only customers...can you say re-fried-fries? Oh, who cares...they were really good. Warning - one basket of fries is enough to share between two people!
Well, I don't usually do this (for free) but I have suggestions on how to make Judy's better. I used to own a 'business in decline' (oh wait...I have one now!) so yes, I am qualified to make these suggestions. And I really want to like Judy's more, it has potential. In my mind it just needs a little bit of work.
I really feel bad about making those suggestions, but it's a lot like beating a kitten with a rolled up newspaper. I'm doing it out of love. Club Coyote is another one of those places in Woodland I have been driving past for years, but I've never stepped in the door. I decided to give it a try.. When I walked in the door, I realized that the place is actually called 'Club Coyote Sports Bar and Grill'. So, no surprise, it is a sports bar. What exactly is a sports bar? I think that means they serve beer, fried food, and have televisions. Inside the place is actually pretty decent- they've got a lot of TV's (all on the same channel, thank god) and a reasonably nice decor. They've got electronic darts machines, a wide variety of lit up beer advertisements, a Golden Tee golf game, and a pinball machine that I had never seen - Dracula (maybe that's because I only go out during the day..ha ha ha). The tables are clad in copper, the booths have good cushions for tv watching butts, and there is plenty of room in the place at lunchtime. I walked in, and immediately noticed that of the 20 or so customers, they were all guys. I saw the usual assortment of construction workers, salesmen (trucks), and flim-flam artists. One of the most interesting groups was a few booths away, but luckily for all of us, they spoke in very loud voices with heavy southern accents. One of them in particular had a lot to say...stuff like:
While that guy was talking, there was a Japanese guy with a huge cowboy hat playing golf on TV. It was surreal .
This was a very TALL hamburger, in the sense that everything was fluffed up and pretty. It was also very small, but since I vaguely remember the waitress saying "a small cheeseburger" maybe that is what I ordered. Oh well, they shouldn't make the damn place so complicated...how am I supposed to concentrate while worrying about 'coyote sauce'; watching a japanese guy in a cowboy hat play golf; and listening to some guy tell the whole place about the giant shit he took that morning? So, I may have missed out on my chance to 'Taste What the Coyote Left For Ya' and I just got a regular, small, normal, cheeseburger. It was good anyway, just kinda small. The fries though...the fries were a very good version of sports bar fries. They were fresh, and cooked almost to 'well'. But not quite. As you can see in the picture, one fry was taken a bit further, but the others were cooked perfectly. Yes, I did eat the crispy one too...it was good. The fries get a pretty solid score. Also, the place gets bonus points for bringing ketchup and mustard to the table. Both bottles were full.
I did a little mini-review of Tazzina Bistro previously (but they never let me do a whole story...). I've eaten there quite a few times, and it has always been excellent. One my favorite items is the cheeseburger, or as they call it: "Snake River Farms Kobe Burger." Tazzina Bistro is a pretty nice place, one of the nicest in Woodland. You can't really compare it to anything else in this review, so they get a little advantage there. The service is great, and all of the food is excellent. Let's just say that they win the 'ambiance' category easily. And guys, if you are taking your girlfriend/wife/damn-I-wanna-hook-up-with-her out on a date, skip Brown's Corner, and take her to Tazzina. You may spend more on the food, but at least you won't have to buy her 8 beers before she decides that you are 'Mr. Tonight.'
I saw a lady who had ordered the burger, and was eating it with a knife and fork. Admittedly, she was about 90 years old, and weighed 87 pounds, but still...pick the damn thing up and let the juice run down your arms! Shove it in your mouth, bite the damn thing! I'm sure there were two or three people nearby who could have given the heimlich maneuver if she had choked. But then again, she was old, so I'm sure she brought the leftovers home and ate it for her next 7 meals, and leftovers with bitemarks are kinda gross. So maybe she had a plan, but still...eat it with your hands if you can. The burger comes out to you basically disassembled. You put on the lettuce, pickles and tomatoes. When you are done with that, you've got two things on your plate- a burger, and potato chips. The burger itself is extremely juicy (on the right side of greasy) and has an incredible salty, meaty flavor. The meat is the real hero here, giving a very good, very distinct flavor the the burger. Once you bite into this burger you'll understand why it is worth the $15. Yes, it is easily 4 times better than any other burger out there, so it is worth paying 4 times the price! (Plus, you really didn't want to eat 'fish stew' anyway, did you?) So the burger rocks. What about those 'housemade' potato chips? Honestly...not very good. This time I tried salting them to death, and they still weren't good. I would recommend begging for anything other than the potato chips. Their mashed potatoes are very good...tell them you are allergic to fried food or something, but I would recommend you get something else.
*the burger comes with either cheddar cheese, or bleu cheese. Unless you are a little old lady who will be using a knife and fork, I recommend the cheddar. Co-Reviewer quotes: "Take me now, Mr. InsideWoodland, take me!"
This burger is dressed with cheese, bacon, onion rings, and bar-b-que sauce. The patty was huge, possibly half of a pound, it was thick and had a good greasy texture. The roll was very large, big enough for the patty, and also very tall and fluffy. Directly on top of the patty were two slices of American cheese, which had melted and begun to flow down the side of the patty, down the side of the bun, and onto the plate. Three large pieces of bacon were anchored in the cheese, reminding me of pictures of a mastodon caught in the La Brea tar pits. Two large onion rings topped the bacon; the breading covering of one of the rings had partially fallen off, exposing the three quarter inch wide slice of onion cooked into a translucent, slippery mass. Covering the entire burger was a thick layer of bar-b-que sauce. Just in case that was not enough flavor, the waitress had brought over a small container of bar-b-que sauce. “The spicy kind” she said, because most customers prefer it.
** I finally figured out how to use the hand washing trough's- you have to press the foot lever! I thought they just dripped. On the final day of my burger bonanza, I thought I was tired of burgers. I was considering going to Jack in the Box, buying a burger, taking a few pictures and throwing it away. My article would have said "I can't eat this crap," and that would have been the end, the Best Burgers in Woodland story would be done. Instead though, I made my way to Don's Diner, figuring that one last burger would be fine. Well - Don's is the un-sung hero of the story. The sleeper hit of burgerdom, the surprise pie in the cupboard you forgot you had made.
The burger came to the table, and it was a monster. Just about everything was 'right'. They had toasted the bun, there was plenty of swiss cheese, and there were extra mushrooms on the side. These extra mushrooms came in handy, as I added a few to every bite. The cole slaw looked funny, it was a bunch of chopped up cabbage with mayonnaise and a ton of pepper. A simple slaw that was very, very good. Whoever dreamt that one up should get some sort of award, like "best slaw that uses unassuming ingredients to their fullest potential." I liked Don's - I really did. This was the biggest surprise of the whole bunch.
Obviously from the scores, the best burger goes to Tazzina Bistro. It's hard to compete with that big hunk of Kobe beef. The biggest surprise, and the runner-up was Don's Diner and their swiss-mushroom burger. Ludy's gets a very, very honorable mention for their burger. If I was a little younger, Ludy's would have placed higher, and possibly won the whole thing. The Val burger is what I used to dream about when I was 20 years old. But bar-b-que sauce and onion rings just don't sit as well with me as they used to. But I truly cannot imagine a better burger in that style. As far as the regular burgers go, they were all close, but Brown's Corner has the better burger of the bunch. Avoid the garlic fries though.
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The
ambiance of the place is pretty much what you would expect from a joint
that is a biker bar on the weekends. It has your general 'bar' feel, with
lots of televisions, a pool table, and a real bar where you can sit and
drink. Above the bar, they have taped a whole bunch of one dollar bills
- people write junk on them, or create their mini-artwork, and they tape
them up. Like expensive wallpaper created by your drunk friends. It adds
to the atmosphere. On the TV's they were watching C.O.P.S. In fact a really
gruesome episode where a cop tackles a woman holding a knife, as she lands
on the ground with the cop on top of her, the knife goes all the way into
her chest. 
Their
cheeseburger is called a 'Deluxe Cheeseburger' - it has the standard lettuce
(shredded), tomato, pickle (long slices) and onions (red). The cheese
is very gooey, and actually was flowing through the top of the bun. It
is also topped with a thousand island sauce. The burger was tasty, and
even though I was initially put off by the shredded lettuce, it was fine.
The sauce and cheese made for a good fatty combo. The patty itself was
fairly small. It was a little thin, and not quite big enough for the bun.
Both my co-reviewer and myself found that we had a lot more bun, than
burger. For a bun this size, and with this much extra stuff - the burger
could be at least 30% larger.
The
waitress, who hustled the whole time, I was there brought me a small,
folded paper menu. It listed something called a 'Casa Burger' which had
'Coyote sauce' on it. I *think* I ordered that, but I didn't taste anything
that reminded me of coyote sauce (hmmm there was a white sauce, could
that have been it? hope not.) so I may have gotten just a regular cheeseburger.
Either way, it was a pretty standard burger with lettuce, tomato, pickle,
onion, and mayonnaise (or, if you would prefer: 'coyote sauce'). 
One of
the best thing about Tazzina having a burger, is that yes, it is a real
burger. You can go to a nice restaurant, sit down with other diners who
are eating things like 'coq au vin' or 'blue nose sea bass with cioppino
sauce' and say to the waiter 'I'll take the burger..."
I
will admit, I am not usually a big fan of Ludy's ribs. They have catered
a few events on the UC Davis campus and I liked the ribs, but whenever
have had them at the restaurant in Woodland, they have seemed dry. But
of course, since this is a burger blowout, I ordered a hamburger instead,
and found out that they do a very good job on their burgers. All of Ludy’s
burgers are oblong, served on French rolls. They are about twice as long
as they are wide, changing the burger eating experience slightly. At Ludy’s,
they have named all of the burgers after family or employees. The ‘Miguel’
burger has jack cheese, and green chiles. The ‘Dede’ is a
chiliburger. On the day I went to Ludy’s to judge their burger,
I decided to order my favorite, the ‘Val.’ 
Before
I picked up the burger it was about as tall as the glass my soda came
in. I wrapped my hands around the bun, and squeezed down to flatten it
enough to fit in my mouth. The bacon snapped as it broke, and the onion
rings oozed grease. The bun compressed down to the point where I could
get my mouth around the burger for my first bite. I took that bite, and
before I had even swallowed I took another. The number of intense flavors
in my mouth was fantastic, salt, spice, fat and sugar all hit my tongue
at the same time. After five or six bites I decided the burger needed
more of something, so I dripped on some of the spicy bar-b-que sauce from
the small dish. The additional sauce added a little bit of spice for the
rest of the burger. As I cleaned off the grease and sauce that had run
down my wrists I wondered if there was something else that could have
been added, possibly jalapenos, or chiles. 
Don's
was full of old people. That's okay, there was no hip and cool music playing,
nobody playing pool, and no TV's blaring in the background. Just a bunch
of old folks sitting around on their big 'day out' at Don's on a Sunday.
I ordered the mushroom swiss burger, because I wanted something a little
special. There was no way I could possibly eat another french fry, so
I ordered cole slaw.
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