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Golf
has traditionally been one of the most refined, and elite games out there.
Before Tiger Woods came around, it was always considered a "rich
white man's sport". Now it's a sport where rich white guys are pissed
that Tiger Woods ever started playing. Golf has become a sport for the
common man. And the common man needs a place to play.
I've got a friend who plays golf pretty frequently, and when I ask him
where he plays, the answer is usually 'down the street'. The place down
the street is named 'Mountain Valley Golf Center'.
Mountain Valley Golf Center is on Road 102, just South of Gibson. While
the course is small- just 9 very short holes, and the place isn't 'fancy'
at all, it is pretty full service. They've got a driving range, a golf
course (9 holes) a pro-shop, and all kinds of stuff. Heck, instead of
telling you, just take a look at their price board.

This picture was taken in December 2004- in the summer
they are open from 6:00 am to 9:00 pm.
I think it is pretty cool that you can 'rent a hole'. In fact, while
I was on the course I notice this one green that had three pins on it,
with different colored flags. I thought that maybe it was like a miniature
golf hole, and you could take your pick. But that is the hole you can
rent. You rent the hole (90 yards) and you get a bunch of balls, and a
shag bag for just $10 per hour.
They've got a pro-shop, with balls, shirts, drinks, etc. They rent out
clubs, carts- everything you need to come out and start golfing.
I interviewed
one golfer on the practice green- a guy named Anthony.
My assistant tried to take his picture, but evidently there was some difficulty
understanding what 'push the little silver button on the camera'
means. So, unfortunately this is the only picture I have of him. But here
is what he had to say:
Do you mind if I use your picture- or did you lie to your wife
and tell her you were at work? No, it's okay.
Where do you work? California Homes, we built a bunch
of houses right over there (points over near the Bel Air). I'm a customer
service rep. I make sure that everything in the house is okay after the
new owners move in. We really try to make sure everything is okay.
How often do you play golf out here at Mountain Valley?
I play about 3 times a week, more or less depending on how busy I am at
work. I usually play at lunch. Sometimes I play a round or two, sometimes
I only have time to get on the range. Usually a round only takes about
an hour, but sometimes I'll get behind somebody slow and it takes longer.
So how do you shoot? My best round is a 32, but I usually
shoot a 36 or 35.
Where else do you play? Sometimes I play down there
at Davis Muni, or up in Arbuckle. The Arbuckle course is awesome, because
if you go during the week you usually have the course all to yourself.
What do you think is missing at Mountain Valley? I wish
it was 18 holes, but it's mostly a training center, so that's okay. And
I wish they would turn the driving range lights on earlier at night- they
would get a lot more people out here if the lights were on.
Do you live in a California Home? No...
Three things to say about Anthony. First, he was a nice guy. Second,
I was impressed with how he was portraying his company (California Homes)
he really talked a lot about their customer service, AND he was wearing
a 'California Homes' hat. Third, when I was out on the course, I saw him
and his cousin playing on hole next to mine. I watched him pitch-in from
about 20 yards away for a birdie. Very nice shot.

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Mountain Valley has a driving range, which is lit at night (though
maybe they don't turn the lights on early enough). Also, you hit
the ball off real grass, not one of those fake little mats. That's
pretty nice, and surprising. Personally, I only hit about 15 balls
at the range because I want to 'save my good shots for the course.'
The lady working in the pro-shop said that they sell about 50-60
buckets of balls per day on the weekend. I did not see the little
cart that drives around to pick up the balls, which is everyones
favorite target. But they did have a big piece of wood out there
with a picture of Osama Bin Laden to aim at. |

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Because the course is in Woodland it isn't very hilly. They've got a
few trees out there as obstacles, but since it is a training course, they
try to keep the frustrations down. They do have 4 small lakes (ponds?)
on the course. I managed to hit a ball in each one of them, which was
surprising because I never hit it into the lake that bordered the hole
I was actually playing on.
I'm not too afraid of these lakes though, yes I hit 4 balls into the
water, but the water is pretty safe- just some birds and ducks. A few
years ago I played on a course in Florida that had alligators in the lakes.
Yes, real live, man-eating alligators. I was very afraid of those water
hazards. The course listed some 'guidelines to living with gators' to
help golfers out.

Leave
alligators alone. Don't kill, harass, molest or attempt to move alligators.
The potential for being bitten or injured by a provoked alligator is
high. (And these people are afraid of earthquakes?!?)
- Closely supervise children when playing in or around water that might
have alligators. Never allow small children to play by themselves near
water that might have alligators.
- Never remove any alligators from their natural habitat or accept one
as a pet. Alligators do not become tame in captivity and handling even
small ones may result in bites.
- Seek immediate medical attention if you are bitten by an alligator.
Alligators harbor a very infectious bacteria, and even minor bites may
require special treatment.
- Never feed or entice alligators - it’s dangerous. Alligators
overcome their natural shyness and become accustomed or attracted to
humans when fed.
We don't have alligators in Woodland yet- but if you ever come across
one, now you are prepared.


Mountain Valley is advertised as a training center- where people can
come out to learn how to play golf, or better players can come out and
work on their short game. This group was out smacking the ball around,
looking like they were having a good time. According to Pam in the pro
shop, Mountain Valley is "Good for beginners to practice and learn,
good for others to practice, and great for families- juniors are only
$5. And we welcome walk-alongs."
Personally, I really like the walk along thing- I wanted to take my assistant
with me, but she had no interest in golfing- she just wanted to go for
a walk basically. But she just came along anyway- most courses don't allow
this but Mountain Valley does. She soon learned the meaning of the word
'caddy'.
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Golfing teen style...reading 'Cosmo Girl' wearing a 'really
cute jacket' and listening to headphones. (Sorry about ruining the
outfit with the backpack, that was my fault)
Actually, she hit 3 balls on the driving range, and said that it
was enough. It was fun to have someone else out there with me though.
(On the right you can see the jacket without the backpack- isn't
the fur collar cute? And those are American Eagle jeans...don't
get them confused with her other 14 pair (yes really- 14 others)
of jeans- somehow they are different) |
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Of course I went out to Mountain Valley to play a round
of golf. I used to play golf a lot, once or twice a week for about 4 years
or so. Eventually I noticed I wasn't getting better, I was just getting
worse. It was slightly depressing. But the last straw, and what caused
me to quit playing golf for about 8 years came when I was teaching a friend.
A buddy of mine wanted to learn to play golf, so I rounded up some of
my spare clubs, a bunch of balls, and we went out and hit the course.
I taught him about the different clubs, how to hit the ball, etc. Of course
in his very first game, he beat me. That's when I decided it was
time to hang it up. Maybe I should just be a teacher?

Lining for for this shot, I feel good about it. I've got
a wide fairway, it's straight and flat. I have a good swing...and once
again, the damn ball went straight into the lake over to my left.

This score didn't include the 4 lost balls...but we don't
really need to count those, do we?
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After hitting the ball into water 4 times, I thought of the sand
trap as a 'defensive strategy'.
On the left: This was after a chip- I two-putted
after this. Really...2 putts to go 5 inches. |

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Every single trashcan I have seen at every single golf course I
have ever played on looks exactly the same. Lots of Budweiser cans,
and a few boxes from golf balls. Budweiser is always the most popular
beer. Is it the most popular beer for golfers everywhere? Or just
the courses I go to?
You can see on the sign that Main Street Market & Liquor will
give you 10 percent off your purchase, if you show them a scorecard.
I think that a 12 pack of Bud is about $8. So lets say that 4 teenagers
come to Mountain Valley to play golf, they are juniors so they can
play for only $5. Then those same teenagers go over to Main Street
Liquor and pick up four 12 packs of Bud. Let's see what that
comes out to:
| 4 Rounds of Golf |
$20 |
| 4 12 Packs of Bud (-10% scorecard discount) |
$28.80 |
| Chance of 'scoring' after getting girlfriend drunk |
Good |
| Cost of dropping out of high school, getting crappy job and
never getting an education because you had to support yourself,
a wife, and child since the age of 18. |
You Blew It |
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At the end of the day, this is what it's all about. Kicking
back on the deck, watching the other hacks tee-off, and talking about
those two or three really good shots you had. I asked these guys if they
minded their picture on the site, their response was "We're old enough
now that it's okay for our wives to know we're sittin' around wasting
time"

This dog was in a truck in the parking lot. I think it
may have been friendly, but I didn't want to sacrifice one of my putting
hands to find out.

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From: Duke Nicholls - Date: 07-Dec-04 |
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I read your article, and I'm glad you had some time to stop by and play some golf. During the spring time we are building seven new tees so golfers can play 18 holes while playing from different tees, also new carpet for the pro shop, new signage, 125 trees. The soils are so alkaline we can only plant beefwoods,I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, I would have showed you the video center which has some of the most sophisticated equipment for teaching. Hopefully you can stop by in the spring when everthing is growing and green. Thanks Duke Nicholls P.G.A. Professional-owner
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From: M.e. - Date: 11-Dec-04 |
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I think the reason for the Budweiser is that bottles usually aren't allowed. You can get Newcastle in the can at Davis Muni. An experience not unlike going to the Yolo Landfill in your BMW.
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From: Krazy Tony - Date: 07-Jan-05 |
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Yoh, Dude This is a great course, last time there I hit a 25!!!! Not quite that good on the second hole.
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From: Mike - Date: 14-Apr-05 |
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I love this course. I have taught two of my children to play here, and this is the first place I came to play again after my knee surgery. The course is challenging yet fun, and the practice green with the giant trap is excellent for practice. My only advice is to watch for ducks on their final approach to a landing in the pond, and if you tend to hit to the right, bring some extra balls with you.
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From: Clint - Date: 22-Nov-05 |
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Great course, friendly People, what more could you ask for? Free Beer?
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From: Flop dog - Date: 27-Sep-06 |
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I used to come out here and hit flop shots for hours every afternoon. Too bad my long game is non-existant.
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From: Chuck Woodbury - Date: 17-Feb-08 |
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My daughter lives in Woodland and sent me this site. Very interesting. I will play this course while visiting her one day. It reminds me a lot of my home course here in Willits, Brooktrails Golf Course, a neat little nine hole course set among the beautiful Redwoods. A great place to practice your draw and fade to avoid hitting trees. And yes, Budweiser is the most popular beverage in the trash cans. I know as I recycle all the cans and bottles and use the funds for improvement projects on the course. Come and play with us one day.
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Story and pictures © InsideWoodland. Stories
about Woodland California.
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