Is it possible to spend time with the looking at world's biggest wiener without making a single suggestive joke?

Sign in the Food 4 Less window.

Mr. Inside Woodland, Karl, shook his head and stated that it would be impossible for him to refrain, so he asked me to join him last Friday and report on our visit with the a legendary American icon, the Oscar Mayer wienermobile.

We met up at the wienermobile's scheduled stop, the Food 4 Less, a store known for its massive outer wall of soda, the most polished concrete floor you've ever slipped on, and a maze-like format that forces you to walk the perimeter of the store just to get to the booze. Karl jumped out of the car and immediately began snapping lurid photos of the grand sausage.

"Tut-tut, Karl," I said, covering the lens of his camera with my hand. "Today is not about that. Today is about the story of Oscar Mayer's Wienermobile, about what it means to the American people, and most of all, it's about perfectly seasoned logs of meat."

Kraft Foods, owners of the Oscar Mayer brand, are very proud of the wienermobile and have dedicated a portion of their Web site to its history. According to the site, "in 1936, Karl G. Mayer, nephew of the company's founder, had the idea of introducing a 13 foot long hot dog on wheels."

Since wienermobiles have been in movies, weddings, funerals, and a host of other functions. Drivers of the wienermobiles, known across the land as "hotdoggers," are often recent college graduates looking for a chance to see the country. They commit to a one year contract in which they will travel over 500 miles each week and often do two or more events each day.

According to Lindsay and Katie, the two hotdoggers who brought the wienermobile to Woodland, being a driver of the famed frankfurter is a "huge responsibility."

Lindsay- a real Hotdogger

"You mean because other hot dog companies are out there, conspiring against you?" I asked.

"No," Katie responded. "The wienermobile is an American icon, and the company trusts us to represent them, they literally hand us the keys."

"You're like an ambassador of meat," I suggested. "Let me ask you this: can you be a hotdogging vegetarian?"

"I guess so," replied Katie. "After all, our company makes Boca, too."

"That's true!" I exclaimed. "Perhaps they'll eventually have a Boca-themed vehicle. Maybe they can call it the Soywagon or Gluten-a-go-go!"

Katie gave me an obligatory smile.

"Can I sit in the driver's seat?"

"I guess," she answered.

The cockpit was similar to something you would find in a conventional recreational vehicle, but Katie implored me not to refer to it as a "weeniebago."

At the controls, I pretended that I was a lone, wiener warrior charging through a wasteland entirely devoid of frankfurters. Just as a horde of hot dog worshipping mutants began pelting me with mustard and ketchup, Katie suggested I depart the wienermobile so that other children could see inside.

I exited the cabin so I could speak with Katie's partner in hotdogging, Lindsay. She handed me a wiener whistle.

Lindsay, one of the hotdoggers.

"I noticed that the Oscar Mayer Web site is laden with hot dog puns," I said to her while unwrapping my new whistle. "Do you and Katie come up with new hot dog puns on a regular basis?"

"Of course," she said. "Just the other day I sent my parents a St. Patrick's Day card and wrote Irish I were an Oscar Mayer hot dog!"

I let out a congratulatory groan and blew my whistle.

"Do you frequently hear new puns when you are at an event?"

"Frankly, many of the people who come to see us do relish hot dog puns but some of the jokes don't cut..."

I stopped her before she could say "the mustard" by blowing my whistle again. However, she did point to an important aspect of the wienermobile's success in maintaining itself as an American icon.

People don't just love to make hot dog puns, they love the wienermobile itself. Some love it because it reminds them of the first time they saw it and some love it because it's a rolling oddity. Me, I think it looks tasty.

Here are a few of the people we met while visiting with the hotdoggers.

This is the first time this young man has seen the wienermobile.
He may not know that he's witnessing an American icon, but he understands exactly why a giant hot dog car is fun.

This gentleman attempted to explain the greatness of giant hot dogs to his young friend.
Perhaps the child was simply intimidated by the size of the vehicle. Some folk just prefer their hot dogs in bite sizes.

This is John. He first saw the wienermobile in 1958, and he remembers how they used to give out metal wiener whistles. Rather than go into the ways in which plastic wiener whistles are inferior to metal, he happily posed with his new toy. John came all the way from Fairfield to see the wienermobile. His devotion knows no bounds.

These folk are John's accomplices, Shirley, Pat and Lewis.
They were impressed with the size of the wienermobile's main cabin, and its hot dog bun control panel. 

Here's another shot of John's group, right before they headed back to their campsite in Dunnigan. Yes, they came all the way from a campsite in Dunnigan to see the wienermobile. John is OBSESSED.

Here are some other people who enjoyed their time spent with the wienermobile. Leah is in the upper left hand corner, her and Earnest (bottom left) work nearby at PGP.

The last shot is of Colleen who works at the Starbucks next to Food 4 Less. She is a proud drinker of espresso, which is obvious from the photo.

Karl found it easy to get people to smile in front of the wienermobile. According to Katie, this is why driving the wienermobile is so great, why she feels Oscar Mayer will never stop the program. She even lamented the end of what she called "our year" as hotdoggers.

"Wow," Karl said. "That makes it sound like you won Ms. America."

"No," she said. "It's better than that ."

 

"Can I ask you a serious question?" I asked Lindsay.

"Sure," she answered.

"Off the record, what are hot dogs really made of? I have this theory that there is a night crew that comes into the factory after the day's butchering is done. They each have a flat-head snow shovel and walk back and forth across the factory scraping up the smashed bits and pieces of meat from the floor. Then they dump these remnants into a giant vat which churns it down into a paste and then squeezes out the delicious hot dogs. Am I right?"

"No. All of our hot dogs are made from top quality meats."

"Okay, I'll buy that. Can I ask you one more question?"

"Okay," she said.

"Do you love hot dogs?" I inquired.

"Absolutely," she answered. "With lots of relish and mustard and ketchup!"

"I love them, too," exclaimed Karl. "And I'm STARVING!"

He suddenly dashed into the entrance of Food 4 Less and made his way around the forced perimeter. I shook Lindsay's hand goodbye and ran after him.

I caught up to him in the meat aisle, a long and luscious row of every type of meat you could possibly want and a few you don't. He was standing over a festively displayed case of Oscar Mayer hot dogs.

"98 cents seems like a good deal," I suggested.

He pointed to the Bar "S" display, where the hot dogs were discounted to 78 cents.

"Sure, they can charge less," he said. "But do they have a wienermobile? I think not."

He grabbed a pack of Oscar Mayer hot dogs and some buns. It was time to eat.

When we arrived at Karl's secret InsideWoodland compound, his neighbor, Roberto, was getting out of his car across the street. Karl decided he would be a willing test subject for our photo essay, and invited him over to eat.

Roberto called his hot dog assembly a "Mexican Dog" because it had jalapeños and no ketchup. I called it my colon's worst nightmare. Karl was so enamored with Roberto's hot dog that he made some desktop wallpapers out of the photos.

Roberto's Mexican Dog.
Click here to download a big picture to use as a background.

I don't often eat hot dogs, but they were yummy, especially hot off of Karl's BBQ. There's something special about a hot dog from the BBQ. The smell of the cooking hot dogs makes you think of warm afternoons and evenings in the summer, relaxing with some friends or family after a day of fun. It is an experience that can be considered uniquely American, which is quite a statement for a culture that is built on the shoulders of every other culture.

Perhaps this is what makes the wienermobile so special and why people love to see it. It's part of our national identity, part of who we are. The wienermobile drives from town-to-town throughout the year, and each new town on its journey a new opportunity for children and adults to see and touch a real American icon.

Another juicy pic, with TWO bonus backgound images!

1024x768 and Bigger Background 1280 x 1024 for LCD monitors

And don't forget the background from the picture above!

And last- here are some Hot Dog etiquette suggestions from the Hot Dog council

	From:  What they hey - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Man, that was a good lookin' hot dog!
	From:  Sausage Party - Date: 27-Mar-06
	That close up hot dog picture made me lick my monitor! You're the Ansel Adams of sausage!
	From:  Theresa - Date: 27-Mar-06
	It's so weird, after reading your story, I had a dream about eating a hot dog and I don't even like eating wieners!
	From:  Leslie - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Good idea, leave the suggestive jokes to us viewers. We are the true meat of the story, right? Or should I say, we can help spread the word? Really, I found the information easy to swallow. Thanks for the new story, it was fun to read - keep it coming!
	From:  Sunny - Date: 27-Mar-06
	I don't know if this will be un-American, but I am a little dissapointed that there is no mention of mayonnaise. C'mon.
	From:  Martha Stewart: On Oscar Mayer - Date: 27-Mar-06
	HOT DOG CASSEROLE 1 pkg. hot dogs - OSCAR MAYER WEENIES 1 lg. onion 6 or 7 potatoes 2 cans golden mushroom soup 1 c. milk Large casserole dish In large casserole dish add sliced potatoes, onions, hot dogs. Layer starting with potatoes, onions and hot dogs, when finished mix soup and milk, pour over mixture. Simmer on low heat until potatoes are done, no need to stir. GOLDEN MUSHROOM SOUP?
	From:  lynn Kossack - Date: 27-Mar-06
	I remember back in 1956 when I was a little kid and we would go see what we thought was "Oscar" and his weiner mobile. I wonder what happened to him.
	From:  dave - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Funny you should ask that, Lynn. I found this article while doing a little research. read article
	From:  Lu - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Are hot dogs on the South Beach diet????????Great story, even better pictures!
	From:  Can't Resist - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Q: What do get when you cross a chilli pepper, steam shovel, and a chihuahua? A: A hot, diggety dog.
	From:  Chantrelle Bosworth - Date: 27-Mar-06
	HOT DOGS Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God. Do they eat dogs in America?" "I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled. "Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do." They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please." The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"
	From:  Heenyo - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Hey Dave, nice buns.
	From:  Peter596 - Date: 27-Mar-06
	Great story and pictures. Woodland is lucky to have our talent.
	From:  Colleen - Date: 03-Apr-06
	Hey! That's me! But they got the Starbucks wrong... I work at a different one in town, not the one right by food 4 less.... =)
	From:  Swelldance - Date: 14-Apr-06
	I'm confused - Is it spelled "weiner" or "wiener"?
	From:  Mr. InsideWoodland - Date: 15-Apr-06
	Swelldance- Well, don't be confused. It's spelled 'wiener'. The author had it right, but I did the graphics, and I got it wrong. Sadly, I am just too lazy to fix the graphics.
	From:  mike - Date: 18-Apr-06
	want pictures of the largest weinermobile ever, the one in the old commercial about "big brother". If you have the pictures of the semi truck weinermobile, Please email them to me at timerecovery@yahoo.com. Thank you, great website. Mike.
	From:  that one mexican dude - Date: 01-Jul-06
	i was gonna say.. i didnt remember anyone doing an article on my genetalia...
	From:  Woodland Claw street cleaner - Date: 07-Jul-06
	Wish I was there. I love Tube steak especially on the BBQ
	From:  Cristian Roma - Date: 13-May-07
	Hi, My name is Cristian Roma and I am a little disapointed. You see I was with my aunt driving in the car to go to the store when all of a sudden I saw the weiner mobile! I was so excited that I saw it pass us by. my aunt was scared that something had happend to me but then I just told her what i saw. She was so excited to that she wanted to turn the car around and find the car. Long story short my aunt and I were Wondering if you could come visit us so we could meet yall. So if yall could come that would be nice. We live in 4310 Aspen Brook Ln, Spring Tx 77388. And if yall dont know where that is Google it! Thanks by.
	From:  Debbie Simmons - Date: 28-Jun-07
	Can you come to Red Bluff, California and visit.
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